Apple Pie A La Mode

So, I’m sitting in the Diner U.S. of A. I heard they served the best Apple Pie A La Mode. The atmosphere is nice enough, the light from outside is just right to make one think the sun is rising…or is it setting? I hear loud laughing and see a group of people with Donkey's on their T-Shirts. As I take in my surroundings I see another group of people with Elephants on their caps, they're not as loud as the first group. My eye is soon drawn to the dessert display case, a copy of the Constitution is hanging by a thread behind it. There is a nice big piece of apple pie, the crust looks flaky and golden, the filling has apple slices that are just the right size to be soft yet still have a bit of bite to ‘em. I can smell more pies cooking; spices and apple, yum! I take a seat.

The waitress walks up, her name tag says "Media"; she doesn’t even ask me what I want. She knows, after all they only serve apple pie. In her hands she carries my options: apple pie al la mode with cockroaches in one and cockroaches with apple pie a la mode in the other. “But,” I say, “I just want a pie like that one there in the display case.” “Naw,” she says while smacking her gum. “Those folks over there,” she points to the group on my left , “say the pie with cockroaches is the best. ‘Course, them folks younder,” she points to a group on my right , “always go for the cockroaches with pie. Your choice, just pick one I’m a holdin’.”